Friday, September 01, 2006

[Life] A very outdated report book

While searching for my terribly-lost passport, I came over this stuff which brings me memories of the past. Or nightmare perhaps?



It was the final (2nd) year of my kindergarten progress report, attached with a class photo during our graduation. It was like 16 years ago man.



Alexandra Kindergarden Kindergarten Class 2(?) - 1990

I don't remember much of the classmates anymore. Except some, who impressed me with their funny looks but supercomputer brains, and some who scarred my memories so much, I feel like killing forgetting them.

And tracing myself in the photo is easy man, because as far as I remember, I do not like my own face while I was young. So, it’s simple to find a face you feel like punching with.


There he is, a punching bag!


Not to mention how much I got bullied last time, not by my classmate but by my teachers, whom I don't even remember who are they now (lucky them). Most of the people would like to search for their old friends, but for me, I'd rather forget them. Kindergarten is just one part of the dark times of my life...



Looking at the results is just another interesting fact for me (laugh). Cause the results is so outdated and inaccurate, I simply went speechless and of course, don't even mind a little about releasing to anyone who happen to come across it. I'll go through every single results shown, clarifying why it's wrong and the right way to get graded with As.


I just love this responsibility contradiction comparing to what I received from National Service


Attendance (A): You can just ignore the attendance. It's "A" cause I attended most of the class, if not all. Cause a cane is just waiting outside the school for me.
Helpfulness (B): I was surprise that I graded B for helpfulness. Comparing to those seat-rooted idiots, I'm the only one who is willing to help the only disabled guy in my class.
Willingness to share (B): Good job on rating me B. I thought I should be rated C. The reason why they grade me B is because, during "games" period, where they pour a large chunk of "LEGO" in the middle of the circle of 6-7 children, who is suppose to "snatch" these toys to construct something. Since I'm shy at that time, I'm totally loses out to those hyenas. Maybe that's what you call "sharing".
Eagerness to Mix (A): Yea, you can say I'm pretty hyperactive at that time. But to be frank, the best way to kill time is to talk. And at that time I don't even like to listen to what teachers have to say. Cause they are teaching what I've learnt. But well, I would not call it obedient though lol. Mixing with those smarties is a definitely NO though.
Contribution to Group (A) & Responsibility (C): Why am I putting this 2 together? Simply enough, those mofos don't listen during a group discussion. Either they go “err... ehh... erm... ah... oh...” or they just don’t listen to you and do their own stuff (Reminds me of my SIT test during BMT). Making you so pissed off, you just go... “Fine, do what you guys want. I'll do it myself...” Maybe that's how this results turn out. Moral of this short story: Work with people you can work with. Cause people that you can't work with, just can't...


Am I the absolute candidate to open The Pandora’s Box?


Initiative (C) & Sense of Security (C): This grading system is so funny, I couldn’t even stop looking at it just for one. How do you actually judge someone's sense of security? The initiative and sense of security is so such that, "Ok boys, think of a way to die...". Then, to get grade A for both, you just need to walk up to the window, open it up (Remember, don't try this at home) and jump off (cause you have a good sense of secure by jumping out of that hell hole). Other than that, this 2 grading is probably one of the worst graded one. [By talking about my NS vocation, I wouldn't have posted to RP then... Damn, I should have shown them this grade for the excuse!]

Power of observation (C) & Ability to Concentrate (C): For the concentration part, see above (Eagerness to Mix). And if my observation is so bad, then how can I make such an accurate comments now, after 16 years? Lol... Oh! Remember, superman should has S grade for power of observation. Oh... Cyclopes from X-Men too...

Curiosity (A): Just for once they are right! I’m very curious on anything man! I mean everything! From the TV (who cares about the show? I cared about how they manage to get it up there!), to what’s under those girl’s skirt desk. Heck, I’m even curious about why the "principal" always hide in her room and never ever get out to talk to us even once, except to punish. I’m just curious about anything, and I believe it’s good. How to get an absolute A? Go to HowStuffWorks whenever you're in doubt. Even so if your parents do not want to answer your question regarding something sensitive, you'll guarantee find your answers there.

Respect for rights/properties of others (B)/for authority(B): I don't steal, I asked others for permission before I actually borrow stuffs from others, and I get B for this. Too ordinary perhaps. Maybe next time I should bring it in front of the teacher to actually asked by kneeling and probably providing a "tearful" moment to beg for an eraser? That'll give me an A for sure. Respect for authority again, brings me to mentioning the cane. Alright, once and for all, I'll clarify. I graduated from a children SM house, where they'll whip you if you misbehave. How's this? Lol. The cane is the ultimate weapon there, it's like Emperor's sword (上丰宝剑). The cane will not hesitate to be served if you misbehave just a little. Cool huh? To get A? Be the one who delivers the punishment...

Politeness (B): I got a B, just for greeting everyone I met on the way, despite my shyness. Well, I can't say much on this one. It's human self. I can get C, I can get A, depend on whether I'm uncomfortable or not. To get A, be a japanese ^_^. ありがとう here ありがとう there might help.


...


Sense of right and wrong (B): Sensing right and wrong can be judged too in kindergarten! How? They just keep claiming you’re wrong. If you confessed, you get A. If you deny first then confess, you get B. If you confess first then deny you get C. If you deny, you get D. Why? Because something had happen to my mathematics result at that time, and I'll explain later. It indirectly affects this result. To get A? Just say yes to everything teacher ask you. That's why I hate smart student, cause they love to pleased teacher and far too much. Talking about a pair of clean boots... (or for Chinese, a very loud horse butt spanking)

Response to love and beauty (B): Oh my god, that contributes to the "WTF??!!" in the picture. They can even judge your response! Oh my god! And I do not know why am I graded B. I bet those face-stiffen smarties would get very bad results for this but NO, they gotten A. Damn. I've been wondering how to get A for this ever since I first saw this.


Maybe to get A for this, you need a response like this just by looking at those girls?



Thank the teachers in whatever they are doing in an extremely cute way?



Or play Broke Back Mountain, the ultimate way of showing your response to beauty and love!



Whatever got to do with results, I'll get C for sure(probably from the pissing off of those teachers). But numbers prove them wrong!


Here comes the trouble. The results which I've been scored at, starting from English.

You know, those "A, B, C" stuff, probably they mark it by my handwriting. I've got a very bad handwriting since young and I'd prefer to actually type than write. So probably they overlooked my answer as something else. However, I'm confident that at that time, my score was higher than that. Probably around 95? For Chinese, the score is about there. My Chinese has never been good till secondary 4, the year I fall in love with Chinese poetry. By then I've got ½ *beep* mandarin knowledge. But luckily, manage to survive. Though, I still don't like the way Chinese was taught last time.

As for mathematics, I'm so confident of myself, that I can say at that time I'd have scored 100. So where did the other 20 marks gone to? Ah... I went for toilet break when I'm about to finish the paper, and guess what? My friend (beside me) handed up the paper! And it wasn't time yet! Best of all, the teacher do not want to return me my paper to finish it. I screwed my friend for this, but he claimed that the teacher ordered him to pass up my paper.

I approached the teacher and the principal regarding this. The teacher says that I voluntarily handed up the paper before I go for toilet. What nonsense! I argued about the incident, and they don't believe me. Best of all, this is a perfect place to talk to teacher, while they are holding a cane. Therefore after deny, I confessed. That's how I get B for the results above. (sense of right and wrong)

Now what's with this man? Talking about lousy and attitude teacher at this era, that makes it into the newspaper, spare a thought of the children of the past, who suffers more, from those notorious teachers, those demons. May they be banished into the deepest hell! be condemned!


Teacher: “No sense of art and craft, and bad at singing!


Hey, you know, this could be true man! I don't like singing, but I enjoy music. I don't like drawing, but I appreciate paintings. I don't like making craft, but I'm playing warcraft III! interested in engineering stuff! So how true and accurate can your kindergarten report is?


Teacher: Has shown some improvement (innerself: damn, I've got to keep my job, or his parents will complain to MOE, and I'll be condemned! But he pissed me off a lot. So to relieve my own anger, I wrote...) A playful boy.


If I were my own parent last time, I'd have told her off, "If you want to say my son is naughty, just say. Which kids in this world are not playful?" And indeed, that's what most of the parents of other kids defended for me. The "playful" part is funny. If I ever go back to time, I'll get A for everything, praised by my teacher all the time, and pull her underwear down at the very last day in that school. Sweet revenge! Those were the dark days man...

Nevertheless, it's just a small fragment of my past, and I'm not bothered by it at all. There were people who loves to look at these data and take advantage of it for some fruitless purposes. I welcome him/her to use it, because it's so inaccurate, I chuckled every time I read over this post of my blog. LOL!