Thursday, June 29, 2006

[Life] I'm home! A week of events... Am I alive?

Finally I'm back home after staying in for 1 day in my camp followed by 2 days of duty! I feel like I'm been released from Changi Prison for any crime I committed to land in the jail.

Many things happened last week. Some are frustrating, some are sad, some are just pure stupidity... There are matters which made me shout "You may take away my life, but you'll never take away my freedom!" in the center of the world, there are matters which made me sad that I drop my tears... sigh, I'm in a loop.

Anyway, it seems like I'm under a serious depression behind my smile. Strangely, if I can identify my own depression, why can't I do anything about it? I don't know, I only know it does more harm than good to my body and I can't do anything about it. It seems my soul and my body are de-sync, seriously de-sync. I need help, but my body fought over the urge to. I'm in a dillema... I'm in trouble, yet I'm standing strong, fought over this mental war. Me oh me, who is the real me? The one who love everything and everyone, and got bullied, or the one who hate everything and everyone, and stand tall? I've no faith in any god, yet I studied about it. I've believed in god, yet I doubt over it for others. I'm in conflict of my otherself. Wait, who am I now? Me or me...?

Anyway, I'll still remain as myself, the sync part. I'll continue to do whatever I need to do and what I enjoy to do... That's myself... But it doesn't matter anymore... It'll be over, this indecisiveness of me...

To the whoever I want to see this blog (wait, I'm not refering to a girl and no, I'm not gay, but this msg is important.)
Person 1: Pls take your time to rest during the break, you need one... I understand your sadness over the recent matters. I just can't console you by any words cause I know, words can't heal. I shed my tears over others, for the 2nd time in my whole 22 years of life. Cause I'm sad for you and I'm afraid too... Pls... get over it... for the sake of yourself, your family and me... Enjoy your holiday and come back to us as a healthy and optimistic regular again. Aim to be the top, to be a WO, and a good WO...

Person 2: Time goes on, life changed... Time changed, life goes on... I still remember the first time I met you in one of the server when you and that CL invited me to be in the clan. I was then like, "Oh, fine... At least finally I can find some friends inside the game." I was so happy then, stressless boy who finished his O'Level, who finished his filthy life in that sec sch devil den and finally enjoyed the heavenly peace in the poly. I got to know these fine people, those whom I worth to be called "brothers". Recent incident was a sad one. It reminded me of the past when I was been seriously backstabbed by a "best-friend" whom I always thought to look after, to give him whatever he needs (as he's disabled), and guide him the right path (not to go be ah beng... going out any ruined his future)... Sadly, I failed to do so... I didn't managed to do it. I've been threatened by his friend not to visit him again. It was frustrating, it was embarressing. I went home like a loser, lose to a bunch of devils... I gave up... Several months later, I realise that he was deserted by those devils, and he left with no friends, yet I did not head back to him. Being as evil as I am, I had believed that I did what I suppose to do and that's it. End of line... For you, you've your friends, you have your new buddies in the circle. That's good for you... However, frustration behind the betrayed of my trust for brother is the same as my best friend in the gaming circle, once broken, never recover again... and to think it's thrice... I've no thanks, I've no sorry... That's the end... if you understand me of my point, then live on as if you did not know me in the first place... Cause it's over... all the best in your life too...

Person 3: The one I respected cause of your role in the clan. You handled everything by yourself, thus earned my respect. However I'm sorry to disappoint you that my aim since I joined has never been to the top. I joined for the sake of the person 2 I mentioned above. I've been asking myself why I joined in the first place, cause I wanna prove that I'm not a cheater, and I wanna be together with my brother. But time passed, things changed. I'm unable to do so. I'm always wanna be as a part of the family, however I couldn't do so. Unable to do so... Trying my best but always hit the wall, and I identified the wall as my aim, the very wrong aim from the beginning. It was a wise choice that you agreed to the decision made, and I'm happy that you did it. You did what a CL suppose to do, and I respect you till the very end. I thank you for wasting your time on me, a worthless addition to the clan, and sorry about it... All the best, may you guys aim for the top...

VIP(s): When's the feast? I'm free again... and this time, it's a big destressing feast :D Reply me asap...

That's all for the long entry... back to my photographing...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

[News] Anime Blog Removed!

Yea, it's true, I've removed the anime blog due to lack of update lol. I don't think I can concentrate on doing a whole review of those anime I haven't finish (15 exactly), so therefore I'm gonna put my full concentration on the combined episode guide with Lumiere. Therefore I'm removing my own personal anime blog.

Don't worry, it'll be up soon, not that I'm worrying that you're worrying... (pun)

Sunday, June 04, 2006

[Quiz] So dark the con of man...

Well, after reading and watching the story created by Dan Brown, I kinda inspired by the way he jumbled up the words and treat it as if someone could be so smart to decrypt it. So here goes, try decrypt mine.

Cat realizes c.svon in uk

No shit, this original message is what I'd like to shout it out loud at this very moment... Let's see who are the smart one around.

PS: pls ignore the .

EDIT: Answer is "National Service Sucks"

I know, I'm damn lifeless, if I've life, my blogs will be filled up everyday man... NS makes you lifeless, that's why we have "Life" day you see? To reassure that we still have life...

Will be back updating about my life soon...

Friday, June 02, 2006

[Life] From boy to man...

"After packing up my gears, I greet my mum good bye. Then, I embarked upon the great crusade which I've striven for many years." is what might be in his mind at that time but Kef (aka Thomas) embarked on his journey to be a man today!


Kef, the one who seeks for truth to be a man...


The "last supper" was pretty plentiful for the 4 of us, including Kef's friend (gf? Maybe? I dunno) and it consisted of dumplings specially hand-made by Kef's mum. It was delicious oh my goddess...


Don't be deceived by the picture, it’s really delicious...


After the scrumptious meal, we left the cozy house of his and left for Pasir Ris.


Did a wild bear crap in the wood, son?


Of course, with the advice by me (CPL FDS), and Tan Kiet (LCP Guards ADF), he must have made known various ways and hardships to be a man...


However, ESP doesn't work here...


Surprisingly, we caught up with Yong Ming, one of our buddies for basketball. He’s there to send Kef off too. Apparently, he came directly from school so he's holding a laptop. Nobody told him (neither do I) that it's considered a contraband items, and of course, after been caught by that No.3 Uniformed Master SGT, he've got not choice but to submit it to the guardroom.


Fu Lu Shou... Or is it the other way round?


Unfortunately, out of respect to the specialist and the officers, I am unable to take any pictures while my stay inside the tekong, however, a nostalgic feeling overwhelmed me, making me recalling of my past in Gryphon. Even I manage to spot one of the 2LT, whom is my ex company mate. Oh my goddess… time flies fast...

We proceeded to the spectator stand at the parade square while Kef proceeds the other way to "do whatever he needs to do". It was a hot afternoon and we are all drained from the ferry ride. I've no idea whether is it part of the plan or not, but it seems we witnesses a rehersal of the POP parade of various companies. Their marching is... I can say, pretty ok. But considering the facts that 5 recruits + a parent fainted on my POP (which is about 1 year + ago) and seriously injured, I don't dare to comment on their marching.

After spending about 15 mins of time there, we board the coach and arrived at the company line of Apache (A Company), after which we are given a briefing of the various location of interests including arm skote (The place I hate the most), company office etc. After which, the 2LT guided us to the annex of the company. And HOLY SHIT. It's 10, or even 20 times better than what I have at Gryphon. Let me give a pretty detailed comparison.

Pool Table: Alpha x 2, Gryphon x 0
Table Tennis Table + at least pair of bat: Alpha x 1, Gryphon x 0
TV (workable): Alpha x 1, Gryphon x 0
Items Alpha have that Gryphon don't have:
Good conditioned sofa, DVD players, workable Hi-Fi, Clean annex, decorations, trophies... I can go on for an hour talking about it...

Next we explored one of the bunk. Pretty normal to me, nothing special. Next, we explored the lecture hall. Again, nothing special (begin to get boring). After which we are guided to the training shed to look at the various equipment for 3 mins (I can't even finish walking from the sitting area to the display area cause it's simply congested. How stupid man. They guide us to the canteen and we waited for like 30 mins for the blardy trip to auditorium.

After which, they played a boring video then the talk by LTC David Lim. Then the oath and the national anthem. Then we proceed to have our dinner with Kef.

The food is by NTUC, that's why it's great. Chicken rice, simply the best and I mean it, the best "free" food I ever ate in my army life. Damn... Then we send off Kef again... I'm expecting him to cry but he didn't. Later, he passed us a gift each for thanking us to send him off. Oh my god, I gotten a handphone holder (dog). How nice...

Before we go, my ex company mate (officer) helped us took a complete photo of us.


From left: Kef's mum, Yong Ming, Kef, Tan Kiet, Me Myself, Erm... forgotten her name, and Munchy (Mun Shi)



I miss the ferry terminal... I miss the ferry...



I miss the beautiful sunset... reminds me of the time when we had our evening round-the-island jog with LT Long Ting...


But certainly, I don’t wanna go back to BMTC for BMT again... ORD ORH!

Last but not least, let me dedicate this song to Kef, all the best for your next 2 years!

**
Training to be soldiers,
Fight for our land.
Once in our life,
Two years of our time.
Have you ever wonder,
Why we must serve?
Because we love our land,
And we want it to be free, to be free...

Looking all around us,
People everywhere.
Children having fun,
While we are holding guns.
Have you ever wonder,
Why we must serve?
Because we love our land,
And we want it to be free, to be free...
**